I think I’m going to start my patch vest tonight. I think I only have one patch right now. But hey, you have to start somewhere.
SEND ME PATCHES.
+I’m writing letters to keep myself busy at work. If you’d like a little something in the mail, send me a message with your first and last name as well as your address.
+For the first time in years, I can’t come to the conclusion of what I’d like to do in the near future. It used to be so easy for me to just say, “I’m going to go do this,” and then just do it. But now, I’m not really sure what to do or what will be good for me. I just want to go to a big city and learn how to tattoo and travel and hang out in coffee shops and actually enjoy life instead of stress every minute about where I’m going and how much money I have and how long will those things last… I guess I just want some stability for once.
+My heart feels as though it’s made of lead right now. So heavy…
+Today is an all-around great day.
I just finished my finals and I’m done with my first semester of college, I got my ceramics pieces back and I get to take them home, I’m getting a bunch of free merch tonight, and tonight I’m going to a folk-punk/post-rock show with all my hoodrat friends.
Good way to start my summer.
+I’ve realized over the last few months that I care way too much about other people and I go out of my way to make people happy for no reason. I’ve lost friends regardless of how much I’ve tried to keep the friendships going and I always feel like it’s my fault. But it isn’t. I’m a really great friend that anyone would be lucky to have.
I just need to take care of me for a while.
+Letlive on Friday. Gonna have to muster up the courage to ignore all the drama, glares, and snickers. People be hatin’. Oh well.
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Love/hate relationship with philosophy. Makes me rethink my whole life while at the same time confusing the hell out of me. (Taken with instagram)
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You know, not a day goes by that I don’t think about you. Especially today. My heart feels heavy and I don’t really know how to deal with it. All I know is that thinking of you when you were happy is the best way to remember you. I won’t ever forget long car rides blasting music with you, playing video games at all hours of the night, taking walks with no destination, sharing cigarettes while we talk about our lives, kissing your chest after I punched it because I felt bad, stealing all the hot sauce and sporks from Taco Bell, you ALWAYS falling asleep when we watched movies, you picking me up from school, how you’d always order pizza specifically so it was half vegetarian for me, that awkward moment when you put your arm around me on your parents couch and fell asleep on my shoulder, you giving me the pink plastic ring from the quarter machine at the bowling alley (which I’ve worn every single day for the past year for you), and how you were such a genuine friend to me. I wouldn’t give up the time we spent together for anything.
It’s been a year now, and it feels like it was just yesterday. At the same time though, it’s felt like an eternity. I still remember getting that text from you right around now saying, “I love you.” And then that fatal phone call from Emily breaking the news. My heart broke worse than it ever has. Those days were the hardest days of my life. I know you wouldn’t want us all to be sad for you, but it’s so hard when you lose someone that was so wonderful. There are a lot of people here that love you so dearly and miss you to the point of pain. But I know you didn’t do what you did to hurt anyone.
I just hope you know how much we all love you. I’ll always be your Zoekins/Dragonair. I love you, Rob.
Come on, man. The bus driver is hitting on me now? You’re supposed to be the one protecting me from the creeps!
+Since my wallet is lost, I thought I wouldn’t be able to go to the Comeback Kid show tomorrow. Instead, my boyfriend is guest listing me (even though I don’t want him to) because he wants me to see his band play the show and he knows how much I love going to shows. :| I feel like one of those band girls… You know those. Ergh.
+Well, I’m officially declaring my wallet lost. I had over $120 in it, my social security card, and my school credit card in it. I’m petty sure I left it on the bus here, but I swear I checked to make sure I didn’t leave anything on there before I got off. I’m just so fucking pissed. I have no idea how I’ll ever get it back if I ever do.
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